finding motivation in unlikely (people) places.

(edit: i started this blog a week ago, and never got around to finishing it. so some of this might be a tad out of date. my baaaaad.)

okay, so i've been slackinggggg. i'm sorry.

so, this week, i was supposed to do another vlog by now, and i just haven't been able to get around to doing it. my apologies. hey - at least i've been working out. i'd rather miss my blog than miss a turbo class haha. :D

i have great news! i weighed myself a couple of days ago and i am officially at 236.4!! that is 3 lbs down from last week. i am thrilled. i didn't really do anything different, other than be a little bit more strict about monitoring my caloric intake. my lose it! app will yell at me text me when i haven't tracked any meals. so it's not hard to remember, seeing as though i am attachedtomyphone.

a lot of things happened this week that were extremely positive. i will start with the music side first, to get it out of the way.

i had conversations with three men who i've looked up to for a very long time. last thursday, i had a conversation with myke terry, the former lead singer of bury your dead. myke is in this band called the silent age (you can check them here), and he's currently touring. i don't know the ins and outs of what happened with BYD (frankly, it's none of my fucking business), but i do know that it was exceptionally hard for myke to get back on his feet. myke and i are from the same hometown. i've seen him in his old band cassius, and i've seen him with bury your dead. we know each other through passing...we were never actually close (the closest i've ever felt to him is when he came to my apartment and raided all my alc that i was trying to get rid of the *first* go-around with this whole fitness thing lmao), but i've always admired his strength and vitality. and for someone like myke to get knocked down just to get back up again, makes me believe that this is entirely within my reach.

so on thursday, i texted myke to let him know how much of an inspiration he was to me. myke was extremely flattered and let me know that no matter what, i need to keep going. even if i'm trying to talk myself out of it, even if there are others who are telling me that i can't do it - KEEP GOOOIIIIIING (his actual words haha). one thing that really set in with me was when he pointed out that i had a great voice, and that the world needs to hear me and my story. it really meant a lot coming from someone like myke...and it's only pushing me to go harder.

i also spoke to justin and tito from saint diablo. went to go see them at a show in camp hill - they killed it. for those of you who don't know who saint diablo is, they're a local prog metal band from richmond/fredericksburg...do yourself a favor and check them out. thank me later. they've been around for a long time, and they've been a huge inspiration to me. tito (the lead singer) in particular... he's been through the whole weight loss thing and succeeded (he lost 64 lbs! go tito!!). tito and i had a very long conversation about music, family, and health. i won't go into the personal shit, but i will say that tito and i are very much alike when it comes to the fitness struggle. i always thought tito was the most confident dude in the world...and you never know what people go through.

so...enough with the music shit. i have practice today, and that's going well. i'll keep you updated.

last week, i began a turbofire/insanity hybrid. because clearly, i want to die. you know insanity, right? with fabulous *snap* shaun t? yeah. my body aches now just thinking about it.

i did my fit test last monday, and let me tell you...it was a huge wake-up call. i feel like i've been doing okay witj turbo...i felt myself getting stronger, i can feel my body changing, i'm able to do more....haaaaaa. well. i was sorely mistaken. my fit test was an epic fail.
there's video. i'll post it the beginning of next week. what a huge fucking gut check. my kicks were horrible, i felt like there were bricks in my calves every time i jumped... it was almost like my body said "giiiirl, what the hell is this shit?! sit yo fat ass down and eat a burger!"

ever since then i've done 3 insanity workouts. i have never had so much sweat on my body at one time. my shirt always ends up soaked. and i'm haunted by shaun t's voice yelling at me to push. but when it's over...(and it ends really quickly)...it's over. and i feel more accomplished than i've ever felt.

so the plan is to do turbofire in the morning, and insanity when i get home from work. 4 days a week (i rest on wednesdays), and the weekends i do one workout a day. ahhhhhh.

my tip of the day? share your story and your journey with others. let's face it, you didn't gain the weight on your own (remember those drinking binges with your friends and the constant sheetz runs?), and you're not gonna lose it by yourself. seek help and motivation - not only from yourself, but from the ones who want to see you succeed.

i'll have more about traveling and staying on track in a couple of days (i promise).

a friendly workout never hurt anyone...

this week has been really crazy for me. i apologize for not updating earlier.

so far...i've received great feedback from everyone regarding this blog. i have to say... i never thought i'd be at a point where i'd be the one inspiring others. for me, it's never been about that. i just thought that others would be able to relate to my story...but the fact that others have told me that they've begun to workout because of my blog, or that they've changed their diet...that's so wild to me. so thanks so much for tuning in. if i can help one person change their life, i feel like i've done my job.

shoutout to olivia, taren, mary and jared... love y'all.

anyway, back to business. i had another revelation this week. working out is so much more interesting when you have someone else working out with you. my friend allison, who is best friends with mike from sadie lex machine, came over on sunday to workout with myself and my wife. god, i wish i took pictures. allison, as much as i love her, is not the most coordinated person in the world. (and she will admit this to everyone, so don't ya'll try and say i'm talking 'bout my friend behind her back. shady so-and-sos) it was...well, somewhat entertaining, but fulfilling at the same time... having to stop and teach her the movements. we did the fire 55 ez class together. it was interesting, because i found myself becoming the turbo tutor, if you will. allison hasn't taken any type of cardio class in a while, and she was a complete novice. last weekend, she did the core 20 and stretch 40 class with me, which was interesting within itself. but a fire course? sheesh.

 it was almost like allison served as the physical embodiment of myself when i first started. after i showed her the movements, we would go through it - and every time i caught her yelling at chalene ("you're not tired!" "yes i am!" - "chalene, you're a bitch!"), i would tell her no. i said, "change your attitude. you CAN do this." "no, you're not tired." it was like i was talking to myself in a past life. teaching someone who is just starting out when you've been working out for a couple of months puts a new perspective on things. you suddenly realize how far you've come.

 needless to say, alli was suffering afterwards, but overall she did a great job. i haven't really worked out with friends much until recently. fat people usually go through this phase where they're embarrassed to sweat around anyone; i am no exception to the rule. i eventually got over my self-conscious habit and started inviting people to work out with me. i'm so glad i did. allison was great, and it's awesome to know that you have so much support that people are willing to go through the ringer with you.

so my tip of the day? invite your friends. make it a party. do something where you know everyone's gonna get their sweat on, but have a blast at the same time. you may surprise yourself and end up being their fitness instructor there for a second.

on a completely unrelated note: practice is slowly coming together. i am working with three of philly's best musicians - and i couldn't be happier. we finished writing a new song in two days. TWO FUCKING DAYS. who the fuck does that? oh wait - we do. ;) i'm so excited. i have another writing session sometime this weekend. hopefully another song will be done, and i'll be that much closer to playing shows. i. can. not. wait.

another vlog will probably come later on this weekend. until next time... <3

inspiration, part 2. (grudges)

happy 13th! (do i just post on holidays now?)

inspiration.

what inspires you? what drives you to be the best "you" that you can be? what are your goals throughout your process, and how do you ID them?

i see a lot of inspirational and motivational messages every day through facebook, twitter, on TV, etc. and they all seem to stir up the same questions and answers. for me - i have several goals in mind to become a better person. but recently, i've found that if i focus on all of my goals at on e - it gets seriously overwhelming.

my wife christine showed me a facebook post from a beachbody coach who lost over 100 lbs doing a p90x/insanity hybrid. he said that you can't just go in and go through the motions. his name is kevin gauthier - and he said something that really stuck with me. he said you never start seeing results until you give it your all. if you were training for the fight of your life...if you were fighting for your friends, for your family - how hard would you push? how much longer would you go? how much intensity would you use? it's that mentality that gets results.

for some people, it may not be that serious. but for me - i know if i DON'T have that mentality, i end up dogging the shit out of my workout. and it makes me feel like ass afterward. and i may not notice killer results yet - but i do notice that some movements are becoming easier, especially when i push super hard.

i also have another inspiring tip - so there's this dress that i bought. it's a size 12. if you've seen pics of me, you know i'm a loooooooong way away from a 12 lmao. i first tried on this dress for my friend's senior dinner dance. i ended up not buying it and went for a red dress - which i regret now. so i check the torrid site again - and what do you know...the dress is on clearance!!!.....and 12's are the only sizes left. awesome. *eye roll*

so i said fuck it - and bought the dress anyway. the dress now hangs on my wall next to my vision board - and when i'm working out, i look at it. the entire time.

the goal is to be able to fit into the dress for new year's eve. so i have what - 5 months? two sizes? i got this shit.

so my tip of the day? keep your goals and what inspires you with you when you're working out, when you're eating, when you're forcing that huge ass bottle of water down, whatever. i guarantee that shit will push you.

i'll let y'all see the dress tomorrow when i do my vlog. good night.

burpies are the devil.

turbo report
friday, july 6th
week 6
workout today: fire 55 ez
weight loss to date: n/a

all throughout this program, i've been doing my best to improve and push myself. it's been the most challenging program i've ever done. and i mean, i've tried everything - from zumba, to hip hop abs, to dancing...hell, i've even tried a richard simmons workout (and got a glimpse of enough spandex to last a lifetime). and ever since i started doing turbo, i've noticed some improvements. for the first month, alee was my best friend (for those not hip to the turbofire cast - alee baytan [nee' vicencio] is the low impact girl, i.e. if you're a fatass beginner like i was, watch her). i couldn't jump worth shit, skis were NOT happening - and hell, don't even LOOK at me when double bobs are going on. eff that.

as the month progressed, however... i noticed that some of the moves were starting to get easier. i didn't feel as much pain when doing skis, i actuall started jumping during some of the high/low sequences...etc. but the one move that is still defeating me is the...


dun dun dunnnnnnn!!!!

...dreaded burpie.

burpies usually occur during a fire drill. a "fire drill" is when chalene (the turbo trainer) takes you on a 70-second ride through hell ie. pushes you to the max that you can go. you go H.A.M for about a minute, then you recover (aka pass out and die) a minute after. chalene has a way of sugarcoating shit. she likes to refer to the burpie as a "squat leap". i can hear her voice as i type this. it's almost like she's giving you an ice cream cone before you leap to sudden death. i'll demonstrate...

this is how a burpie should look.

 

this is what it usually ends up like...

fail.

so my tip of the day is: practice makes perfect. i find that if there's something i'm having difficulty with in my workout i take the time to practice it when i'm not working out...so when that siren hits, i'm not surprised.

the mastering of the burpie will come. but for now...i'll just have to keep falling on my ass until i get it right.

so i should probably introduce myself...

happy 4th! how you doin'?