anger as a weapon.

insanity, day 7.

so i'm backtracking just a tad bit. i had an extremely, extremely busy weekend this weekend - which involved me playing a show - pumpkin bombs and guinness cupcakes. get me drunk one day, and i'll tell you all about it. however - with my workout, i was able to somewhat stay on track. saturday was the 2nd plyo workout for the week - and i have to say, i am so blessed to have two support systems to get me through - my wife, of course... and our "adopted son", keenan. keenan thompson (no, not the guy from SNL/kenan and kel fame) is our friend that myself and my wife took under our wing. we have wrestling friends that we frequently watch WWE with, and keenan happened to be in that group. and for some reason...he just ended up clinging to us hahahahah. so keenan, myself, and chris did plyo early saturday morning.

i wish i took pictures. keenan was bringing it. it was interesting working out in our small ass apartment with 3 people. you think 2 big bitches is bad? add a third party. yikes. our neighbors hate the fuck out of us.

anyhoo. to keep my crazy weekend short - i played an awesome set at my studio. it was the first time with my band, and it felt absolutely amazing. the crowd was really into it - the energy was high...we had such a fantastic time.

then monday comes around. don't you hate that shit, when you have such an amazing time on the weekend and then you have to go back to reality? so not fair.

cardio power and resistance was today. what was really fucked up is that i had an issue earlier today...where one of my friends inadvertently pissed me the fuck off. there was absolutely no reason for me to be mad. the reasoning was so stupid, it's not even worth mentioning. it wasn't his fault - i haven't been working out in the morning recently, and i think it affects my mood. i get really angry over the dumbest shit when i don't work out.

but it doesn't change the fact that at the time, i was pissed. i felt like i wanted to punch a small child in the face. i was so angry that there was nothing that could have calmed me down.

so i took it out on my workout.

last week was shit, to say the least. and today, i was extremely tired - but i pushed through. the sad part is - when i'm happy and in a good mood, i don't push myself nearly as hard. it was still tough - i had to stop still. my endurance still isn't where it needs to be. i know it will come. but throughout all the self-conscious BS and the tiredness - my anger is what really pushed me through the workout. as i was doing my last few push-ups - i thought about all the feelings i had that day - anger, frustration, embarrassment...and i just pushed it into the ground. it was wild.

not sure if that's a good or bad thing.